A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Alex,

I want you to know why we ever told you there was such a thing as the Tooth Fairy.

First of all I was surprised and saddened by your reaction to me telling you the truth. I could have lied to you and led you to believe for just a bit longer, but you asked me- begged me really to tell you the TRUTH, so I did. It broke my heart to listen to you crying in the backseat of the van- all alone back there in the dark. I was crying too.

We led you to believe in the tooth fairy not to lie to you, but to help you to believe in magic. That probably sounds silly, but childhood should be full of wonder and awe, in believing the unimaginable was actually possible. If you have an open heart to this when you are a child, maybe you will take some of that with you as you become a young lady and then an adult. Most adults don’t believe in magic. Most adults are cynical. Most adults wouldn’t take time to make a fairy house with their kids. I want you to do that! I want you to wish upon a star. I want you to believe in beauty and love and the possibilities when you have an open heart and mind.
Watching the Nutcracker was magical. It was beautiful. I knew that the Christmas Fairy wasn’t really flying, but for a split second I let myself believe that she was. I watched you with a bit of a sad heart too. You were so angelic and happy- so very happy looking! It was a miracle to me that I could have such a beautiful, graceful daughter who was up on that big stage with everyone watching her. But I was sad too- sad that my baby girl is growing up and experiencing pain and hurt and mistrust. That a tiny bit of your innocence is lost and will never come back- unless you continue to believe in magic.

When we came home from your final performance, I was putting your ballet slippers away and I noticed something. They were covered with sparkles on the bottom. Fairy dust. Theatrical snow. Magic. It brought tears to my eyes.

I love you Alex. I love you more than I can find words for. I’m sorry you were lied to. I hope someday you will understand.

Love, Mommy